falling on my head like a new emotion.

And he’s gone. Soon was more like “in a few”. Queue the rolling credits…

Aaaah, sure is awesome to feel alive again. It’s the aftertaste of reality that brings on vertigo and a world of hurt which sucks. Again, it is refreshing to know I can feel, not just crave. Life is so awesome and fucked up in that way.

Phhffft!

Yikes, I have transformed into a sap in less than week…not right. Fret no more, as of tomorrow, after my brief moment of self-pity, head pounding, listening to aggressive music to deaden the “why me, the world is soo unfair” voices, I’ll be back to my usual “go me”, wonder woman able to leap high curbs and survive on sex alone. Yeeeah!

*very heavy sigh*

“I’m glad to say that we’ve met
But I’m sad to say that the circumstances weren’t
on our side”

- What if We Said, Blue October

Life has a twisted sense of humor, much greater than mine even when I’m in the oddest moods. It figures that I find someone that interests me so much, I’m attracted to, feel like I can be myself around, we have tons to talk about…and he will most likely be leaving and returning to his job in another country soon. Yeah, Karma, I know I was messed up ten years ago, but come on, can’t I catch a break?!

The last couple evenings have been a blur, the first night reminiscent of Jesse and Celine in Before Sunrise. There’s a connection and I’m going to enjoy it while things last, no worries, no expectations because damn, life is meant to be lived. I could go on and on about how much I adore and what I like about him but I’m gonna spare ya. Unless of course something big happens, but until then, I’ll glide along in my bliss.

I adore my landlord. He’s way too cute, this Italian that reminds me of Helio Castroneves but brings an additional sense of hunkiness to mind. G has a very kind soul (sadly I believe he is taken though I really shouldn’t cross that line), and we clicked the first time I toured the house I now rent a room in. Over the couple months I’ve been here I’ve helped him out by showing the other available rooms to prospects, knowing G lives at least 45 minutes away. I don’t expect anything out of it, just doing it because it’s the considering thing to do, I remember how difficult it can be to manage rental property…and I like helping people when possible.

Over time he has sent me text messages or emails in response to my help. They range from “YOU…. ARE… AWESOMELY STUPENDIDLYLICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SUPER GIRL!!!!!!!!!!” to “yer a good egg”. Earlier this afternoon I received an email from him regarding getting the new roommate (she’s hot!) hooked up with cable. Here’s how he ended his message:

PS–you are THE most advanced prototype for kindness and
general likeability!

I must say, he really does know how to complement someone, and as I told G before, I need to keep his messages around for a morale boost on the not-so-positive days.

Considering I didn’t sleep last night I feel great! What sucks is knowing sometime in the near future I’m going to be all fuckered up. Moods will be completely unpredictable and my libido, whooo boy, A better be prepared. I’d love to say a night without sleep is no biggie, but I am all too familiar with the consequences, and not just the 2pm crash.

At least the web site comp I worked on until I ran out the door to the gym kicks ass!

Yeah, this is what happens when I get all mopey over the weekend and “forget” to work on a project, when in reality I just didn’t have the energy nor desire to do anything but stay in bed and watch tv.

Oh…and it was 30 degrees this morning. In Southern California. WTF?!?!

I’ve been busy…I went to Knotts, made a trip to TJ, family came over, daughter visited during the holidays, and I got sick with a nasty ass flu bug crapola thing that is still lingering.

But I have wireless at home now so hopefully I’ll be pounding the keys and updating all two of my readers.

I’ve a lot on my mind…still a bit jaded about life right now but at least it’s moving forward, I have a job, decent home, a car that’ s still rocking my striped socks and daughter that insists I’m “the best mom evah!” and loves me more than chocolate chip ice cream (that’s saying a lot coming from her).  Go me!