I love my parents, I really do, and I appreciate that they listened to me have a serious freak out session over the phone (while driving…not good). But what I hate, what really pisses me off, especially since my dad is bi-polar, mom depressed, that one of the first things they ask me is if I’ve been taking my meds.

Am I not allowed to be emotional?! Does every feeling and emotion have to be explained by medication or lack thereof? Why the fuck can’t I just be upset? Only fifteen minutes prior to calling them I was hunky dory, enjoying a tea while chatting with a friend. EVERYONE has issues, gets upset, throws hissyfits in their own way when things aren’t going well, when they’re sad, when they’re confused, angry or royally pissed off the veins are popping on their foreheads. It happens to those who don’t take meds, who don’t have to rely on nasty tasting, peach-colored caplets to retain some sense of normalcy.

So yes, I took my meds…last night and the night before and the night before. And so on and so forth, because dammit, I may hate these things but I do what I have to do to remain “stable”, to show that yes, I can take care of this thirty-year old woman even when no one else thinks so.

I was not freaking out because I didn’t take my medication. I was (and kinda still am) freaking out because my world was snatched from under me and it hurt.

It hurt, because I have emotions and I feel.

You’d think by now that they would understand what NOT to say to me.